Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
