It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
