I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
