I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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