id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
