when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Gay?
German.
Pity.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
