Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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