I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
