whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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