His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
