is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
