i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i came on her dog
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize