I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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