How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
