I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
