The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
