spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
