I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The uberlube is also flammable
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
