Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
