My brain says no but my pants say off.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
