Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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