how do flat chested girls get laid?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
