it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
