Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
