i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
