Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
