I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
