nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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