I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
