Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
