you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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