How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
