Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
