She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
