Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
