I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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