tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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