it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Randomize
