Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
