I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
