I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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