so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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