I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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