Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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