Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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