instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You took a bar mat shot.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize