not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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