It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
