1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
id be glad to
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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