my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
