I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
