I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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