Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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