my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
