Sponge bath it is.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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