I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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