Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
