i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
