Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
