I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
